You’re not in love with them, your brain just thinks you are:
I liked someone for five years. It was totally unrequited, unhealthy, obsessive, and just plain weird because it didn’t make any sense. He was constantly cruel to me and didn’t really care about my general well-being, but I still “loved” him.
To be quite frank, I’ll tell you that you’re not in love. Not at all. You’ve played your memories of them over and over again in your mind. Imagined every single possible (or impossible) scenario of them realizing you’re the one. It’s not them you’re in love with. It’s the person you’ve created in your head. The person that held you while you were sad, the one that you thought was always going to be there for you through thick and thin. It was never them singing you to sleep, although your brain could describe to you how vividly their voice sounded as you dozed off.
Your imagination is a wonderful, yet heartbreaking thing. That’s because it can create whole universes in your head. You can imagine this person by your side every step of the way, but really, they haven’t thought about you since the last time you two had a conversation. They get to have that smooth clarity of not thinking about you.
So really, you’re doing this to yourself. As long as your mind can fill in the gaps (and make excuses) within rejections and lapses of time, it’ll keep doing what it does. Imagining.
Why I actually wrote this article (I’m not trying to make you hate your brain)
I wrote this article to give you some insight into why you can’t get over them, and finally, I’ll hand over the one and only way to move on from someone. You have to be comfortable with yourself. That’s it.
When they sing you to sleep in your imagination, it’s not because they’re a soothing person. It’s not because they have the voice of an angel. It’s because you don’t want to be alone, and that’s actually why most people try and find a “rebound”. Really, all of us don’t want to be alone. That’s the sad truth that we have to face. It’s how we can get over all these unhealthy obsessions and move onto the ones that actually love us.
We’re the only ones that can fill the void we’ve been trying to fill within our own imagination. It’s the only way that anyone can really grow. So, really, the only way to get over that one person who’s trapped inside your thoughts is to know and fully accept that you’re enough. You don’t need anyone to sing you to sleep. You don’t need anyone to buy you gifts, because you’ve got your own money and deserve to splurge.
You don’t need toxic relationships to feel whole, and if you do, then stop asking why you always end up dating the worst people. It’s because you don’t love yourself enough to wait. That’s the complete truth.
You want them to love you, you have to love yourself first.
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Heiress 